Brawlers, and Boobies, and Dragons! Oh My!

My good friend and co-host of Jeers of War, Frogson, recently convinced me to pick up the RPG-Brawler, Dragon’s Crown. It’s a game I’ve been very interested to play since it’s reveal. Now that I’ve gotten my filthy mitts on it, let me tell what I think of the first several hours of gameplay. 

Ok, not to sound like a pervert or anything, but the first thing I noticed and the first thing most people who play it will notice, is how overtly sexual the female characters are. It’s pretty ridiculous. Dragon’s Crown gives Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball a run for it’s money when it comes to enormous, bouncing breasts. It’s downright outrageous. When you visit Morgan, the towns magic item shop proprietor, you get an extreme close-up of what could very well be the biggest breasts in gaming history. You will visit her often, not because you’re a huge perv (or maybe that’s the exact reason you will), but because her shop is where you sell and repair your gear. Even the innocent townspeople have over-sized chest cushions that sway to-and-fro, in an almost hypnotic manner, as they walk down the street. For the first hour or so, this was all very distracting, but once I trained my mind to overlook these “distractions”, I could simply enjoy the game and the number of things it does very well. And if you’re looking to just ogle water-colored females, well… there’s that option as well.

Morgan Dragons Crown

Feminism Side-note: In all seriousness, the sexual representation of the women in this game is rather offensive. These strong female warriors are reduced to “eye-candy” in a means to win male support. As a man, I can look past it, but I would love to hear a woman’s testimony after playing Dragon’s Crown

Once I collected myself and changed my shorts, I began to notice how beautiful Dragon’s Crown really is. The environments look like something straight out of a fairy tale. The beautiful water colors and rich, deep tones paint a world that is very easy to get lost in. I was literally in awe the first time I operated the “World Map.” The attention to detail was astounding. Mountain ranges, trees, rivers and even the smallest structures seemed to jump from the screen and appear before me. I’m a huge fan of great sprite work and this game did not disappoint in that regard. In many ways, the art style reminded me of Legend of Mana (which I might add, is my favorite game of all time). Character models are unique and engaging and the enemies I’ve encountered so far are the things nightmares are made of. For those who disagree, I have two words for you: Doom Beetle.

Doom Beetle

The combat will give you some great flashbacks of the glory days of playing Golden Axe and Dungeons and Dragons in the arcade, but with a welcomed modern RPG twist. Your characters are 2-D models that move on a 3-D plane. You can only face left or right, but you are given the ability to move up and down. It’s your classic Streets of Rage formula. I’ve only played as the Wizard so far, but I’ve been having a ton of fun mastering his skills and spells. As the Wizard you are given an element spell for the “O” button and variations of elemental spells that are assigned to different directional arrows. I think it equates out to a total of six spells for each element, depending on what staff you have equipped. By defeating enemies and completing quests you will gain precious experience points which are used to level up your character. As you level up, you are also given the ability to learn and assign supplemental skills to help your character grow. For example, I’ve spent numerous points to give my Wizard the power to charge his mana at a faster rate and I can change wooden crates into Wood Golems by simply walking up and pressing the “square” button. At this point I’m only level 10 or 11 and I’ve barely unlocked a quarter of my available skills. There are a total of six classes in the game and each class has a unique play style. I’m looking forward to experimenting with all of them. I can already tell that this game will have great replay value.

Did someone say co-op!? No… Well, that doesn’t matter because Dragon’s Crown supports local and online co-op play. From what I could tell, it seems like local play is available almost immediately, but online co-op might take a few minutes to unlock. Anywhere from 300 to 500 minutes to be precise. Frogson and I were expecting to be able to play online with each other right away… and boy were we mistaken. Like I said before, I’m several hours into the game and I still haven’t unlocked “The Stables,” which are required for online play. After doing some research, I found out that by powering through the main story and ignoring side-quests, you could unlock the stables in under four hours, but that’s not how this guy likes to play his RPG’s. I’m OCD when it comes to side-quests… I must conquer them all! So it should be another few hours until my homey and I can play together.

Here’s a great gameplay video from Gamespot:

If you’re looking for that next great PS3 game, I’d say Dragon’s Crown is a solid choice. Especially if you can find a few good friends to tackle the adventure with you. Co-op brawlers were a huge part of my childhood and I’m very excited to see the legacy live on in a modern RPG. This game has a great deal to offer and it’s one that’s worth your time and money.

I Mileson I


    1. Yeah…. this is probably one of the best examples of ridiculous bouncy boobs in a JRPG, but…. once you look past that, it’s a really fun game.

      1. I wonder when they’ll make a game with Curiously Colossal Codpieces… and if that’ll be as awesome as the ones with huge breasts.

      2. Hahahaha! Now that’s something that would sell. As long as the program in ridiculous bouncy dong physics anyway.

  1. The game actually looks well made, the graphics look amazing! Especially when looking at the water, and the game play looks fun! Kind of jealous it is only for the PS3. Being I only have a 360.

    1. It’s really well made. It’s got tons of unlockable items and tons of epic boss fights. It strongly reminds me of the Dungeons and Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara, but with way more focus on RPG elements.

  2. On a side note about this game and the overly sexualized women, one could also argue that these women are overly exaggerated to the point where they aren’t even attractive. I overlooked it. The men in this game are overly exaggerated as well so I don’t understand why people only pay attention to the women. Overly compensated women are nothing new on video games, and I usually just look past them (lol) since they are an artists creation. I think it’s more important to step back and look at the game as a whole. Art style is only one component of a game.

    1. I love the art style, it’s really well done. The disproportionate bodies of the characters can be a little cartoonish, but for the most part it’s very captivating. I think I would pay more attention to male sexuality if the game featured men with enormous, jiggling bulges, (I’m sure it’s only a matter of time lol) but the bulky men don’t really have the same sex appeal, for me anyway.

      I definitely appreciate the feedback. It’s good to hear another perspective on this. As a man, I honestly don’t know how I’m expected to feel about it. Did the developers use this art style as a means to lure in horny men? Or is it just an artist expressing himself creatively? Either way, a man shouldn’t need to complain about boobs being too big.

      1. I giggled at your last sentence. In my opinion, it’s more of an art style… a gutsy one at that. If it were a plot to lure horny men, I think the women (while still being big breasted) wouldn’t be as overly compensated as they are. I think in a way, it was meant to be a little ridiculous. I am sure we are not far off from jiggling bulges, and I am sure that games like that exist in Japan. If there were more of a market here, and not so much of a cultural difference, I am sure that there would be overly sexualized games targeted towards women here, too… and then the playing field would be even. I don’t complain about the way women look in a lot of JRPGS, because I know ridiculous games exist out there for women, and the most I can do is just write publishers to try and get some of those games over here… which is something that I think more women should do if they want those over here! A few have squeaked in (Like Sweet Fuse which is due to be released soon!), and if more women paid more attention, they would order some of those games and create a market for them. I jump at every chance I get 🙂

      2. I’m glad I got a giggle our of that last line. 🙂 This is a very fair response. If women want overly sexual games depicting male bulges and oiled-up pecs, I’m all for it. I’m sure it’s all in the sake of being ridiculous and I totally support ridiculousness. Japan takes the cake when it comes to awkward sexual game experiences (I’ve seen some dark stuff on the internet involving men with Super Saiyan powers who beat women until they start crying, but after these men give the women candy it’s ok. Then the men can proceed to customize the woman’s bust size and hair color.This was a game for the PS2). This game is by no means on the extreme end of the spectrum, it’s just sad to hear it referred to as “that game with the wizards with huge cans.” Once you look past that, it offers so much more, but for many people it’s going to be hard to look past it.

      3. Japan totally takes the cake. But if you look at a lot of American-made MMORPGS, you’ll also find more stocky over compensated women. Honestly the “wizards with the huge cans” make me laugh more than I am offended. And Japan is also the country that brings such games like “Conception! Please Have My Baby!” (And if that ever came here, I would probably get that one too, for the lols of course.). I have seen a lot of games as well take a turn on the dark side, but look at it this way… we have American Games here that lets you fight people with big purple Dildos, and games where you can steal cars and have sex with prostitutes… which can also be seen as offensive (But who the hell cares? Really.) They’re just not as overly sexualized and on the covers of everything as far as game boxes, etc. American made games do a little bit of a better job at concealing offensive things in their games. Japan? Well they give zero fucks, which is why I think I like it so much.

        That being said, I do believe that there is such thing as drawing the line somewhere, but I am not going to judge someone for wanting to play someone else’s works of art. It’s silly how people are too sensitive these days and berate people for wanting to play these games. It’s part of the reason we never get anything here. The side who is the most offended complains so much other parties are too embarassed to buy a game.

        Ooh! And I am sorry to have hi-jacked your post with my long winded comments.

      4. Yeah I got that quote from a friend when I asked if he was getting the game. It was a classic response. For me, it all comes down to intention. Games like Saints Row are perfect examples of how super offensive material can be hilarious and well-executed. If a team sets out to make an offensive, over-the-top, game for the sake of entertainment, I’m all for it. With games like Dragon’s Crown you can’t completely write the intention off for ridiculous and I guarantee there are large groups of people who enjoy this art for all the wrong reasons. The game is fun and I’m loving it and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters, but I know quite a few “artists” who have unhealthy obsessions with dramatic female form.

      5. It’s true. There are a bunch of “artists” who do have that unhealthy obsession. Some of it is more like they never evolved out of thinking like a 14 year old boy when it comes to portraying womanlike figures on paper. But you’re right, everyone who I have talked to has said the game is fun and you are also right when you say that’s all that matters but do I think it’s something for people to make a huge deal about (the boobs that is)? Probably not.
        To go way off topic, many of the same groups of women who complain about the over exaggeration of women also complain that it’s “unfair” that there aren’t enough women in the tech industry. It’s something no one really has any control over. Women have to be interested in being game developers first before we even get more women game developers. Of course more games are fueled towards men because unfortunately men are the biggest buyers in the gaming market here in America. Women are on the rise, but GOD we’re bad at doing our research and reaching out to publishers for games. The point is I wish that more women would put that energy towards having more games brought over for us versus spewing hate for everything else that’s out here. And we could also start by preordering the things that they do bring us, because if it doesn’t do well, then guess what?! There’s no market here and then we’re back to square one.

        Now to bring it back to the point haha. I am all for ridiculous over the top games! Bring it on! -Cabbage patches-

      6. Hahahahaha! Oh my lerrrrrrd! So that’s what this game is…. I remember seeing the cover in the indie market and I was like, what the hell is this game!? And it’s exactly what I imagined…. So is this a game women would be in to? hahaha

      7. Oh, totally. I mean look at those shirtless men in tiny undies, and bulging jiggling packages… mounting eachother…
        OK ok ok, It’s hard to keep a straight face typing that, but probably not. Once again though it’s the ridiculous and over the top that makes this game silly and not offensive. I spit my water out the first time I saw that clip.

      8. Oh yeah…. I could see how someone would think this game is super hot…. I guess….
        But seriously, this is amazing. When the guy started windmilling I just about lost it.

      9. I wonder how this idea just came about one day. Like “Oh hay I am gonna make this totally awesome game, but this is how I want the design to be …”

      10. I like to imagine a bunch of dudes were just wrestling in spandex and said, “hey, this would make an awesome game” and some random guy in the corner is like “only if we have outrageous wang physics” and then the rest was written in the stars.

    1. Oh yeah! It’s incredibly fun! I’m already almost ten hours into the game. After I wrote this article I sat down and played for a solid four hours. It was awesome.

      1. It’s honestly not that bad. It went by really quickly, but it seems like an eternity when you and a friend from out of state buy a game on the same day and expect to play with each other right away lol.

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