Nintendo Cracks Down on Pokémon Trafficking

Most of us already know that Pokémon is a drug that is, arguably, in higher demand than any other legal or illegal substance that children desire. 

We also know that Pokémon is really the most unregulated, disturbing, and potentially profitable life-form trafficking industry on the planet. The one thing we didn’t know is that Nintendo is now virtually openly calling it that and have issued an apology statement saying that their amoral trafficking ring isn’t up and running for all of their clients due to too much creature trafficking. You think the Pawns from Capcom’s Dragons Dogma are bad; how is no one calling out Nintendo…besides for all of the above reasons?

All joking aside, however many kernels of truth there maybe, GameSpot released an article claiming that “The Pokémon Bank and Poke Transporter 3DS apps have been delayed due to a ‘large volume of traffic’ to the Nintendo Network service.” They are supposedly quoting from one of Nintendo’s support pages with a faulty link. I don’t doubt them though; it was probably just a human err—not to mention that the problem is entirely believable. So Nintendo is trying to get their smuggling/trafficking ring back up and running for the masses. I guess their cracking down in a different sense, no? Honestly, no one should be concerned, it’s just a setback. Both Pokémon fans and addicts alike will surely soon be able to continue their slavery operations while getting their highs.

What do you think about the concept of cloud slavery—I mean the development of this new transfer system and where Pokémon is headed? I know it’s certainly not the ground.



  1. Fingers crossed they get it running sooner rather than later! I’ve got way too many friends counting on getting the Poke-fix…

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