bloodborne-fetchEnjoying Bloodborne? Good for you. I’m not playing and I don’t know anybody that is. I’ll give you a moment to pick up your jaw.

Ready to keep reading?

Regardless of all the hype and hoopla that preceded the game or the overwhelming praise that has followed after its release, Bloodborne is simply not something I want to play. Please don’t take that as a condemnation of the game. I’ve watched people play the game on Twitch and it looks gorgeous, in its own way. The entire game has a definitive style and look that hearkens to its Demon’s Souls roots yet still makes it look unique. Even the game play can make a battle look like a choreographed dance routine as the player uses “blocks” and dodges to avoid bosses whilst moving them into a position to be damaged. Strategy and skill are the most powerful weapons in this game from what I’ve seen.

So…if I’m also praising the game, why am I not playing it?

Simply put – I don’t want to. Although the game looks fantastic, the play style is not something that interests me in the slightest. When Bloodborne was first announced it peaked my interest but as they revealed more of it I continued to lose interest. Perhaps the most damning piece of information revealed was the fact the it played like and was analogous to the Demon’s Souls games – of which I also have absolutely no interest.

So…I can hear you screaming at your monitor. I’ll wait a moment for you to calm down.

Again, please don’t take my words as a condemnation of Demon’s Souls. It is a fine game in its own right but it takes a certain type of mentality to want to play these type of games. To willingly spend your time torturing yourself with excruciatingly difficult combat at the highest risk of loss requires a strain of gall that I just don’t have. It is the same lacking that has prevented me from playing most of the Halo games on Legendary difficulty. It is a personal choice of mine that I would rather just play a game and enjoy it rather than have to plunge both time and effort into making the least amount of progress. Even with the understanding that the sense of accomplishment after defeating a boss in Bloodborne or Demon’s Souls must feel like electricity in your veins, I don’t believe that the effort is worth the reward.

Don’t start saying I don’t understand.

As I’ve already stated, I understand the attraction to these type of games. There are plenty of sources on the Internet that will tell me that I just need to put the time into these games and once I “get” them I will be hooked. Guess what…I’m not putting any time into these games. If I want to slam my dick in a door, I will slam my dick in a door. If I want to play a game, I will play a game. I don’t want to play a game and end up slamming my dick in a door. Heaven forbid that I end up making slamming my dick in a door into a game(that sounds like a terrible idea for a handheld game).


If you are enjoying Bloodborne, keep doing so. Don’t wait for a review on this site though, since none of us are playing it. Sorry. 😦

It is a strange state of affairs when I know more people who have played The Order: 1886 than Bloodborne. Think that one over. I’ll be playing Neverwinter.

Bio Card Paul

Paul Novak is a self described Polish ninja toiling away as an IT professional but more into gaming and writing. Physically existing in the west side of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania yet existentially flowing with the ether of the Internet. Found here at What’s Your Tag? and on the Twitter @dudewantshisrug. Game on with Team XBRO!



  1. Agreed. Game looks great, but it just isn’t for me. I’m not the type of gamer who has to go out and buy all the newest. most hyped games.

      1. I can only imagine what it will be like when Street Fighter V is released only on PS4 and PC.

      2. Exclusives will always get hate, no matter the game or platform – the tribal nature of gamers is a terrible thing!

        Bloodborne though is incredible – I’ve never been a fan of the souls games but the faster combat and setting has dragged me in!

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