Yesterday it was announced that Cloud from Final Fantasy VII was going to be in Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS. This reveal blew a large majority of people’s brains out their asses and it proves that Nintendo is open to including characters that have never even been in a Nintendo game (unless you want to count a few cameos on a couple 3DS titles). I’m honestly quite excited to see Cloud making it to the roster, but now that the floodgates of possibility are open, I wanted to send you my character wishlist. I’ve been a good little boy this year and I think I deserve at list one of these characters.
Kaptain K. Rool
Super Smash Bros doesn’t do the greatest job of showing love for the bad guys. This iconic Donkey Kong Country villain has been putting in his dues since 1995 and it’s about time he gets the respect he deserves. Just think about the possibilities of a pirate crocodile with a peg-leg. With a combination of gadgets and minions he could be a beautiful fusion of Bowser Jr. and King Dedede. I can already picture this beautiful beast launching cannon balls and summoning an assortment of Donkey Kong Country baddies.
When Mega Man was originally announced for Super Smash Bros, I lost my goddamn shit. Mega Man is one of my all-time favorite franchises and seeing the Blue Bomber in action nearly brought tears to my eyes. It’s quite apparent that Nintendo is very fond of white dudes with swords, so why not add the suave, mysterious Android? His speed and versatility would make him a great addition to the already fantastic roster. Plus, I don’t care what you Square fan-folks say, Zero is 100x more badass than Cloud ever will be.
Hero from Secret of Mana
Nintendo really needs to show some more love to the SNES fans and what better way to do so than by adding the hero from one of the greatest RPG’s ever made. This character could incorporate a Shulk type of mechanic, but instead of swapping between various boosts, he could swap between various weapons and fighting styles. Or better yet, maybe you could swap between the three main characters of the game. You include an adorable Rabite companion, and you have my new favorite character in Super Smash Bros.
Just thinking about this character in Super Smash Bros gives me goosebumps. Super Castlevania IV is one of the greatest games of all time and Simon Belmont is one the biggest baddesses in video game history, so it’s only logical that Nintendo would take the necessary steps to get this whip-wielding hero included in it’s premier brawler. No other character in Super Smash Bros has utilized a whip as their main weapon and with a huge arsenal of sub-weapons, Simon has huge potential to be an incredibly well-rounded character.
Alrighty Mr Claus, here is my Christmas wishlist. It’s been a very long time since I last wrote and I apologize for that, but I’m here now and I need your help. The holidays are a magical time of year where anything can happen and I’m really hoping for a miracle here. Won’t you make a little boy’s dream come true and just squeeze one of these characters in to the game?
Your favorite little man,
P.S. – Remember 15 years of cookies and milk before you try to screw me over with this one, old man. I know you survive solely on wishes and “belief,” but if you cross me, I will destroy you. Merry Christmas, Santa…